one turn away

So here it is, my random brief lowdown of how a nightmare can happen in a blink of an eye. Keep in mind Joel and I have been friends for just about 10 years, he was the 1st one in the "car scene" to reach out to me. I can still remember when I walked out of work towards my old 63 Galaxie and saw a note that read "sweet car, come hang with the Lost Souls" ha ha, I was so stoked I did not know anyone in town into cars like I was, It was so cool to be able to be around like minded lost souls like myself. From that point on we bonded instantly, and I met some of my now best friends and shared many good times together. So here it is a brief story how it went down from my eyes, eyes you don’t want to have I wish this experience on no one but at the same time, I would want to be the one to be there for Joel not that I did much but.... So take this for what it is maybe a cautionary story I don’t know, I am not one to preach.  

FUCK!!!!!!, not sure what the fuck I am doing, my fucking mind is shot, just random thoughts trying to keep my head on str8, let me begin this last sat, made plans to roll up to my bros house/SKS compound/shop to get a little help Frisco mounting my new tank from my brothers, fucking easy thing to do we were done quickly, while our little future terrors (kids we all have them they rule) played around the house, so I get my shit wrapped up and while I was doing this my brothers are tinkering with the carb on Brandon’s triumph he just built a few weeks ago. Had to get ready to roll on out when Joel decide to take a spin on Brandon’s Triumph and asked me if I wanted to take a “ride around the block”, so I jumped on my bike looked at my helmet sitting on the ramp and said “ah its only around the block Joel didn’t have one on either” and so we rolled, and the FUCKING nightmare began. 1 block from getting back to the house rolling into a right turn ahead I had to slow down my hat was flying off and I had to grab it Joel was ahead by 3 cars length I get my hat settled looked up and OH FUCK!!!! Joel is going into the turn hot laying the bike down my fucking heart is pumping I am freaking out he is laying the bike down in a turn sliding into traffic as their light turned green, fuck WTF!! Goes into the street in a full on BMX style slide into oncoming cars fucking gets hit flies and life was surly over at that point. I fucking roll up on the side walk my fucking heart is out of my chest l kill my bike as I am grabbing my phone to call 911 and run up to my brother who is now laid out flat in middle of the street instant blood everywhere civilians everywhere and my brother is surely out before my eyes. I did what I could I stayed on the phone with 911 and held his hand I am a wreck and not prepared for this at all. Holy fuck what the fuck just happened, this is my best friend my brother a father and now what the FUCK! EMS showed up, I called the house informed family and Brandon who was there in seconds, instant nightmares began for us both. I dealt with the fucking pigs, who issued 3 tickets to my fallen brother by the way I fucking hate fucking cops so much!!! ACAB!!  So fuck I can’t remember so much happening my mind is a wreck, yours would be too if you see a trauma like that not good! Of course by now we are at the hospital (and when I say we I mean about 20 plus brothers/friends/family all there for support) and I have been there all weekend long self medicating and dealing with what I just witnessed, It was so hard to see and talk to his mom thru out the night she is one tough lady I see where Joel gets his stubbornness and toughness from. So we had lots of waiting lots of unknown-ness, Doctor’s tell us its not good Joel is the sickest person in Utah right now, there is severe head trauma severe fractures and bleeding, everything bad you could imagine was happening. The end was near, yet my tough brother was hanging on not by much but he was still fighting, time goes by lots of shit is going down it’s 3 in the morning on Sunday and they had finally let me see him and it was the hardest thing I had to ever do, I talked to him not that he could respond he’s in a HEAVY drug induced coma but I talked I gave him my love and I fucking fought back my tears with every bit of strength I had left.  I now decide I am a wreck I need to get some sleep I go home my family is asleep, kiss my kids while their sleeping, (mind you they were all playing at the compound with Joel and Brandon’s kids when this happened they knew what happened they could hear the sirens they saw the fear in my face when I got back to them before I went the hospital), and go grab a beer and sit on my deck smoke a bowl to calm my nerves and hope I can just pass out because I sure as hell cant sleep. Life was still at that moment, it’s so weird I could hear the birds chirping yet everything was still slow motion like, as I look at the morning moonlight I just break down, my mind is full on destroyed. Sunday morning running on minimal sleep I go back to the hospital friends are there once again, (so good to see Joel is lucky to have friends like you all) Joel is now stable, but still a wreck, there is still a certain degree of unknown, but I know he will fight this he will pull through he has too, you don’t understand he has too I wont settle for anything less. I go see him again, this time I am almost emotion less, like I feel nothing but I do, in my heart and mind I am a wreck I want to break down but I don’t, instead I talk to him, I tell that fucker because I know he can hear me, that we are there for him, that he has so many loved ones outside waiting for him to pull through just there to show support for him and his family. I tell him that he has to fight this, he has to finish his shovel, the sickest shovel in Utah hands down, (wait till you see this thing guys) I tell him we WILL be pushing his ass around Born Free I will personally push him all day long but we wont except anything less than a fight out of him to survive, I talked for a while, but there were others waiting to see him as well, so I leave, I couldn’t deal today, even though he was doing better I just had this feeling that I had to go home and spend time with my family and my kids. I play with my kids at home, but my mind is elsewhere with Joel. Still I am there my kids need to know I am ok, and things will be ok. Monday morning comes I get a mass text from Joel’s wife at 530am while I am getting ready to leave for work, he had a good night and his vitals are all good, he is going in for another CT scan and x-rays, she tells me he has a long road ahead of him, but we have him he is still here with us and that is the most important thing right now he is a fighter and he will survive this fucking nightmare of a life.  Some tell me he is lucky to have a friend like me and that I was there and some are worried about how I am dealing with this, I don’t get it no one should give a fuck about me!! They shouldn’t, I will deal with my inner hell that I witnessed, it doesn’t matter, all that matters is that I get my best friend back, that he pulls through and that he one day gets to finish that shovel (which only needs like 3 hours of work left its almost done so maybe we well not me I know what your saying Brandon I will mess it up and drill crooked ha ha will finish it for him that would be cool right?) and ride again, and most important he needs to survive so I can kick his fucking ass for putting us all through this hell!!!!
Joel we love you brother, hope your ready for your sponge bath :)  - Mike B....